Nothing really matters.....
iam getting older and older and older.....everyday
there are always the same two choices in front of me...choosing one is as usual difficult..
being single...sometimes with commitments.....many-a-times without...
eating the same menu everyday
dont care if they call me or not
dont care if my language is good or bad
dont care if i hurt them or not
dont care if iam getting appreciated or not
dont care if this post is incomplete
dont care if it rains or not
dont care if i need to save or not
dont care if i need to shave or not
dont care if someone watches me smoking or not
.
.
.
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dont care if someone cares for me or not
:
:
life's calling........and i dont care
nothing really matters

Venue – Grandpa’s house

Date – 07-05-07

Time – 11.00pm to 2.00am

Four hours of non-stop bashing. All under the tag of “well-wishing”. After all that, only one thing is very clear. I have neither got a solution nor we came to a conclusion. He bashed me for that too. I am cursing me for taking a decision on talking to him. I know I have failed many a times earlier in trying to communicate my thoughts to him. I don’t know why I tried doing it yesterday. May be, he took advantage of my circumstances and went on in dropping piles of dirt on my face. Challenging my confidence. Testing my truthfulness. Testing everything inside me. At one stage I stopped arguing with him, because I felt like the argument was more inclined towards his side. That’s what he wanted. Is that a revenge?? I don’t know. Whatever I said went was hit for a six. Today, I feel like a duck-out batsman. Mind is again like “idiappam”. That’s overdoze, I feel like spitting. For one thing I am happy. I have been cautious enough in rejecting his proposal finally. I don’t want to become a puppet again in his hands. At this moment, I don’t know whether it was a fair decision or not, but I don’t want to do that mistake again. Nowadays, I have started hating well-wishers. It might take some time for me to recover. The ripples are increasing & widening in my mind, but don’t know what to write