mystics

Someone who believes in the existence of realities beyond human comprehension.

The god, faith and the life ahead...

She was questioning about her faith...Inspite of continuos prayers, the total belief in god, the confidence in thyself...why there was an attack?...how could I answer that question? thats more or less the same state of my mind as well...so do i still need to believe that supreme power...that is the one that guides, saves, gives and protects...what do i need to do to get into the good books of that supreme power...may be the attack was for someting good?...do i need to take this in that way...I've been taking things in that way only for a long time...i dont know how long this shall continue...why cant the picture be clearer and better...why cant the god shall be transparent...why cant the god do good things to me and my people?...I feel like quitting everything...quit the principles...quit the constant debate in my mind on good and bad things...quit the laws...quit the limits....quit the boundaries...quit the constant fear in me that says god is watching us...quit my prayers...quit this place...quite the corporate bulls__t, quit all the people around....to go to a place where there is peace..just me, she and him....I desperately wish...

Why me??

Yesterday, while I was returning back from office, I had this thought..When I look at some of my colleagues, I always become jealous. The whole damn world looked happy to me. Why the hell there is plenty of pain & suffering in my damn life??...So coming back to the point, I felt that may be because I do not wish good for me. I am thinking that only pain and suffering are the ones that keeps my life going..Sometimes I've wished people very good things..I feel from my heart when they are in trouble..all that may be because i have already undergone that kind of pain..or more than that...i wanted things to get better for some of my colleagues, who are good people, who are innocent...I always thought they are god's own children..and so prayed to god to improve their life...why am I not praying for me...thats due to my mind build...I believe that there is no need to ask for me. as he knows me and takes care..but yes, i should start wishing good for me....like...dont worry, your sorrows will come to an end, you will earn really well, you will always be protected from unforeseen circumstances, god will be watching your family, you will buy a car and live happily ever after...

the thing called "me"...

Most recently I've learnt a one thing about me. I constantly want to get rid of people. Be at office or personal relationships. Like for example, at the office, I am happy when people say they got a new job outside. I am relieved that I am no longer going to be with them. After they leave, I start missing them terribly, remembering all those good times I've spent with them.