24th October - Wednesday

its been 10 months since I met her last

Waited for her for more than 2 hours.

How I felt when I saw her at the railway station, iam unable to describe. Words do not have that much power.

From that moment, till she left we were just looking inside each others eyes. They communicate much more than words. she came home. everyone was there. but still we managed to find some time to spend together.

rain ruined. she could not able to spend much time.

Those gifts were really nice.

Only with very few people I feel the closeness. From whom I expect something. The freedom of pouring inside out. We talked. but we do not know what exactly we spoke. words were there just to show people that we are talking.

When she said its time to leave, a ball went deep into my throat. it hurts. after dropping her at the station, while i was on my way back home, i was not able to define my emotions. why did she come into my life? why did she leave? what is there in between us? what are we going to do? what is the relationship we share? why is this hurting?what exactly is the plan GOD have for us? really confusing when i think about this in deep....i can define almost all the relationships and could draw that line.....with her i do not know where the line starts and where it ends...i wonder if there is any line....do I promise her anything?..no i do not...do i want to? sometimes yes...it makes sense if i had this feeling some 10 years back...i dont know why iam experiencing this now...

For a change, I am thinking optimistic today

I wonder had I ever appreciated my mind. I don’t want to compare, but I feel its time, my beautiful mind deserves a pat on its shoulders.

As I said earlier, it’s beautiful. For me the definition of beauty is different. I join the group of people who see beauty even in the ugliest things. Word web assists me in providing three definitions for beauty. But I prefer to relate my way of thinking with this definition, “The qualities that give pleasure to the senses”. Where are the senses located? I believe they are related to brain. But then, where exactly the mind is located. Since this is confusing, let me exclude the senses from the mind and analyze my mind as an object which pleasures my senses. Back to work.

My mind is beautiful because, it by default think only good things. It’s a sort of disciplined slave. Sometimes it’s mischievous, but most of the times under control. When I say under control, it means it stays calm. Sometimes its coward and sometimes brave, depending upon the situation. I am into soup, when it plays a wrong role for a situation. Whether it thinks good for me or not, it thinks only good things for the others. It’s like a perfectly trained horse. Changing its direction is very difficult. The absorbency can be rated as average. It hates flattery but melts for appreciation (that’s why iam playing this low). It’s a good team member than a team leader. It doesn’t command the senses. In that way my senses have pleasure in working with my mind.

Last, but not the least, thanks my mind….u r beautiful and u can be proud about that.

"It's sad you know. That i don't really have many friends. Ever since from young. There are times when i just feel all alone. Either that or feel like i'm stuck in a group of superficial friends. People who don't care a shit about how you really are. They just think being in your company is 'cool' Stucks!"