It was a terrific yesterday....
there are very many things happening in my life offlate.
Each one of these are important and might twist my life altogether..
all are in most of the cases unique (not connected) and in some cases connected in depth
relationships - blood related, distant
friendships - emotionally bound, casual
abt me - my character & attitude - inside and outside
career - to move or not to
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Early in the morning, had a very bad dream...i could remember a glimpse of it..as usual it was a discussion/bashing session with uncles....later my roommates told me that i was shouting on top of my voice while asleep....using almost all the bad lwords in english & tamil..
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today brought some clarity on the "emotionally bound friendships"... conversation which lasted hours together....finally....it concluded in a way that i am going to be all alone...why it came and why it is leaving?? honestly i dont know...people need me and they dont need me too..its very difficult to gauge anything frankly...life's beautiful sometimes....its a stage and iam performing...it started and so naturally it is proceeding towards the end...iam praying to god not to start it again...
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Am I selfish? thats the question inside me which could have triggered the bad dream
...knowing me...its tough without a mentor...do i have to be happy...or do i have to be in depression....trying to take things as they come...."being me" is very difficult...without actually knowing who i am....sometimes i wonder if my thoughts are going to eat me (with salt and pepper)..
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the ripples are widening