Dreams

muzhu iravu payanam thodangayiyathu..perunthil selgiraen....neram iravu 9 irukum..perunthil arai kurai kootam...oru pen sigappu pudavayil...kaluthil chinna sangili (kandippaga thangam illay)...tholil palaya thuni pai...ullay weight illatha tiffen box irukavendum..parpatharku padipai pathiyil vitta pen pol therigirathu.. ....kalainthu pona thalai...thalaiyilum thuniyilum paruthi thugalgal....sornthu pona mugam...kangalil kalaipu...bus il DVD player il oru padam....kaal valipathu theriyamal antha padathai parthukondirukiral....veetil TV illay polum....bus ninrathu....veliyil mazhai thoorikondirukirathu....irutu...venda verupaga kangalay TVil irunthu vilaki bus padi iranginal...veedu yevvalavu thooramo theriyavillai...veettil TV irukuma theriyavillai...veetil yaar yaar irupargal...pakathu veetil nanbigal irupargala...veetil enna saapadu irukum..sappitapin nanbigaludan arattai irukuma...appa nallavara illay adipavara...innum ethanai kaalam uzhaikavendum..ippothu uzhaipathu petravargulaka....innum sila varudam kalithu....kaluthil oru manjal kayiru irukum...purusan saatharanamanvan...ivalai velaiku sella solluvan...kulanthaigal pirakum..appothum velaiku selval..sambalamo, velaiyo marapovathu illai..kannuku keelay surukangal varum...mugathil kalaipu athigamagum...athisayam nadanthal mattumay vazhkai marum...the same life will continue....

MY DREAMS INSPIRE ME TO LIVE....but what inspires this girl to live????

sometimes i feel
few souls come into our life wihtout being wanted by us (or without our wish)
few souls which we really wanted to have, will never turn on our side
when iam depressed, i have been left alone
my god makes me to heal my wound myself
he knws where iam and when i will cross my limit of thinking
he never provides any shoulder to cry
he never shows a shoulder to incline
he never shows me a person with whom i can share
he always wanted me to heal my wound myself...
huv bad he is
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once iam through with it
i could see a soul which i never wanted to come near me
that soul in trouble
that soul in need of a shoulder
that soul is suffering, that soul is in need of help
he wants me to become the shoulder to that soul

he wants me to heal the wounds of that infected soul
he knows, i will never get infected by touvhing that diseased soul
my god, i know, the more thinking i do, the more i go out of the crowd....
but why r u making me think this much
yesterday i got a fear that iam going to become mad
but why
just show me the light my dear god
its high time you show me the light
do it for me
show me what iam searching for
somtimes i feel very much tired of searching
iam deserted
sometimes i feel lost....like what happened yesterday
please show me what iam searching for
wihtout knowing, i feel its difficult to find
god...r u listening....
when is this process of tempering is going to end
god.....my good god of all little things...
its paining nowadays
i cant bear this pain
i feel like crying
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i know u love me a lot....keep loving me like this and in turn i will love the whole world

A piece of plastic with light, molded circuit and a small transmitter
runs with 3.7v of electricity
costs less than 4k
this small piece of plastic had dismayed me for the past four days...
it all happened in few seconds
every supressed, bottledup, held back thoughts exploded and ruined my peace of mind
i didnt and my mind doesnt want to settle down
i could feel all sorts of depression
felt alone in a lonely planet
suddenly came to the end of my life
lost hope
i have never in my life respected it this much earlier
i became mad
searching for service centres
searching for hope
searching for connectivity
every service engineer i spoke to looked like god to me


attimes we need this much struggle to realise something which we already knew....thats the way my teacher teaches me lessons....he is a good shepard....but am i a good sheep?

i can find a reason to live in this world..........from here....

http://www.worldvision.in/child/sponsorship/child_rotator.php

In relationships, privacy is very important. You will be provided with the duplicate key (she will say that u r the person close to her heart and very trustworthy and will never peep inside), u might have the permission, but u shouldn’t peep inside. That may be called as diplomacy. I feel that’s more to do with ur own peace of mind. When u peep, u will have two options. One u can be sure that nothing is wrong. Number two, u might see something which u do not want to see. If nothing is wrong, no issues. If something is wrong u will have two options. One keep ur mouth shut and think whatever u want. Two – u can always ask her. If u opt for one, u might end up with losing ur peace of mind. That’s like pebbles on ur shoes. Neither u can forgive nor u can forget.(u will end up saying to urself that “enda key use panninom). If ur option is two, u will have two more options. One – there will be a smart explanation provided. Two – there will be a quarrel initiated. In both the cases, there is a high possibility of removing the key from u (permission will still be there, but without the key what the hell r u going to do with the permission). So atlast, you will be in a pool of misunderstanding like – 1. u will not be able to accept the explanation. 2. u wud have been hurt deeply bcause the key has been taken away from you. (who knows the key may go to another trustworthy person). NOW, u have two options. 1. return the key immediately. 2. keep the key with you (but iam sure u will be tempted to use it) and face the consequences…..as I said earlier….in relationships, privacy is very important…

Thanks to the poor fate......iam still alive.......

Sila vishayamay......nammidamey
sila visheshamay........nammidamey
vishayamey.............visheshamey.....
sila suvaigalaey..........
enna visheshamey..................vazhvilayy......
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Cadbury's dairy milk...............vazhvin suvai....

Iam feeling a bit feverish today..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Who will cry when i die???? .............I cried when he died....his death made a great impact in me...it brought in many changes...my approach towards life changed...that's not the age to die...but he had sowed in something in me...i was not that very mad before i met him...life is very short and very much uncertain...

Started worrying abt the exams..everyday i think i should study at night...exam is very nearby...but when i sit for studying...not able to sit for morethn 15 mins..i wonder why?...i dream high, but something is lacking...i beleive that i can do well..but lacking patience and concentration..donno huv iam gonna build this up...i feel iam cheating myself by not obeying to my inner mind's words...mmm.....any solutions????

Was on a trip yesterday....started at 8 on wednes...had dinner...took a bus to T. the bustand was full of crowd..its festive season here...reached T at 10.30. then took a bus to chennai at 11..the bus was OK kind. thought it was a semi sleeper...but actually it is not...anyway managed to reach chennai at 6.00...Dad was there waiting for me...he prepared a very good cup of tea...then was watching TV parallely discussing with him abt the family...then was with the computer till 11.00...in between attending tels...and making calls...dad started to Myl...me alone at home...played music very loudly....then started to NG....went there..waited for sometime...spoke to friends who crossed the reception...finished work at 1. then S asked to wait for a while (while is always morethan half an hour for him). then he came (after 3 wills),. he wanted me to come along with him to the interview..like a bodyguard...went along with him..was feeling hungry since I didnt have my brkfst in the morning...he said it’s gonna take 10 mins...but those people made us wait there for more than 2 hrs...got irritated bcause 1. my casual dressing was looking very odd there...2. feeling hhungry..3...thats a crminal waste of time..i had other works to finish...anyway after finishing it (he seemed positive abt the intw)....had a very good brunch (briyani and loads of chicken......)..it started raining...he dropped me midway..he was going back to office...so went to Myl...played with junior2 for sometime...afterwhich he slept...spoke to dad and mom for sometime abt their future plans...spoke to S abt her plans....then Junior1 came...played with him for sometime...H came...spoke to him for sometime..started at 7.15 from there...Dad was also coming with me....waited at the BS for morethan one hour...took an auto till guindy...took a train from there....all the way long dad was continuosly talking to me...that reminded me of the good old days....when i was in college i used to spend most of the time with appa..we used to discuss anything and everything...we used to walk a lot..when i was preparing for the exams....he will take me to the teashop and we had tea in the midnight.....good old days....after a long time he was talking to me...even though the topic was not good and he was complaining rather than talking...i dont want to interfere...and wanted him to pour everything out...started immediately from home....waited and took a semi sleeper...(was feeling very tired...wanted to take some rest)...reached hme at 7.30....and now in office....the return jrny was really nice...all the way long the theme music of Globe trecker was ringing (singing) in my deep inner mind....should try to leave home soon and have to compensate the loss of sleep....thats all abt it....

Bit worried abt the fate of these blogs....sometime they work.....most of the time they dont...i wonder if these ISPs are clear abt Govt rule and the blogs... so today got the access for my own space...

Life is like Idiappam....we do not know which thread is linked where.....pasikithu...will start now...