more and more thinking.....all i have is a big question abt the career. Is there any future or a career. dont know. i do smoke and would like to hide from my uncle. i have been trying very hard to do that. yester.. in the evening...i was having a strong feeling for smoking...so went outside and had a smoke.. iam sure that people whom i know and the people who know me(iam not a popular personality---but people receognize me easily.still do not know the reason y? thats another topic on which iam thinking a lot) saw me there smoking..all of a sudden my heart beat increased bcase of the fear that these people may tell this to my uncle...or they might ask me emberassing questions to me at that spot.. but again i thought it in other way...wat will happen..if they ask me something i will tell them very clearly that this is my life.. but if at all it reaches my uncle's ear.. i may not be able to tell this to him..anyway....this smoking habit is like a sweet poison..cant hide the feeling...and cant remove the fear that it is poison.. i dont care abt my life atleast for now..if at all iam, then i would have stopped it much earlier..may be my only fear is the fear of getting caught in my uncle's hand..saw a news in the newspaper today..there was an article abt smoking... they have mentioned some contact details of the institutions which helps to come out of this habit...may be should try one of them...have cut it kept it sepeartely....did haricut today....should go for pant stiching in the evening